so....

you buy someone flowers, and you're the bad guy?

wtf?

why?

why am i not doing what God wants me to do?

:(

sleep when i'm gone

at my service, make sure they play "We'll Meet Again".

:)

i'm guessing you'll forget my name by morning.

so, not much is going on right now.

not much at all.

i'm at Mister Toad in the Old Market. not that anyone is reading this or is in the Old Market.

this has to be my favorite place to have a drink in Omaha. this is fact.

which, is OK by me. it's a lovely place.

not much on my mind.

other than places to visit. i'd like to go to Duluth, MN.

or Seattle, WA. or Marietta, GA.

just to name a few. also, i've never been to New York City, NY.

one day.

i wish i had something to write about. maybe i should start my short story again.

that's an idea.

i do have a few directions i could go with that.

i really do need to get away.

from all the distractions of Omaha.

and just write.

like Brad Hoshaw.

:)

is that so?

Should i decide it's true
that you would leave if given half the chance to go and
i'd be left here on my own
to find myself in bed
wishing everything that changed would be the same

the room still looks like you
it's a mess and all the pictures on the shelf are
dusted off by someone else
to keep me company
i haven't told her that your thought still lingers on

- William Fitzsimmons

i'll admit; she does still come in and out of my thoughts. i'm not going to lie.

i don't think there will ever be a day that she won't be in my mind. and on my heart.

i loved her with everything. and to not be there when she departed from this world... tears me down.

i look around, and all i see is her.

in peoples faces, in their walk...the clothes they wear.

people walking by...i wave hello.

i see it in their smile.

she smiled all the time.

that i miss the most.

her smile. it made me feel safe.

i don't really get that feeling from anyone else here.

i do feel safe....but i can't look at anyone and tell them i feel safe around them.

that really makes me sad.

i guess i have issues of trust. i trust few.

i have a hard time trust myself.

if you would come back home....

i swear it would be better.